Aware Therapies

dancing woman on beach in eco living magazine article on NLP.

NLP2v2 Article PDF

Eco Living Magazine presents:

NLP – Three letters that changed the world

NLP the most influential therapy around the globe.

By Sudha Hamilton

Is there a therapy or transformational process that has been as influential and all pervasive as NLP?

Neuro linguistic programming (NLP) has, over the last 30 years, reached into nearly every level of our society. Beginning with the therapeutic community, Richard Bandler and John Grinder (who were the founders) developed their work in conjunction with three of the most effective and well known psychotherapists of the time – Fritz Perls (founder of Gestalt), Virginia Satir (family systems therapy) and Milton Erickson (hypnotherapy). As NLP included principles from all of these disparate modalities, it dropped a large pebble in many pools of consciousness – and the ripple effect has been substantial. It is highly likely that any training or transformational work that you may have done has been positively and powerfully influenced by the many guiding principles inherent in NLP. Recently the publication “Psychology Today” stated that “NLP may be the most powerful vehicle for change in existence.”

From there, NLP immediately began spreading like a virus into the corporate world, infecting sales trainings around the world, as managers realised that this work could make their people more effective and therefore their make companies more money. Modelling “rapport”, and “anchoring their intentions” with powerful gestures and mental images, firstly sales people, and then all levels of corporate management began to expand their understanding of how we all think and operate. Training and Development Journal says “NLP does offer the potential for making changes without the usual agony that accompanies these phenomena….it offers the opportunity to gain flexibility, creativity and greater freedom of action than most of us now know.” NLP has been instrumental in the shift to a greater consciousness within our corporate world.

NLP has also been hugely influential in the field of sport and other high performance categories. Coaches and athletes have benefited from the techniques employed by NLP – “reframing” their communication to be able to perceive new possibilities and identifying our sabotage tendencies through “parts integration.” Golfing star Tiger Woods and tennis great Andre Agassi both utilised NLP techniques to reach the peak of their particular sports. A strong mental performance is such a vital component of any successful performance, be it on the sports field or on any other world stage. Politicians and performers have also taken advantage of the NLP approach, with Bill Clinton and Tony Blair as two notable examples.

NLP is, of course, all about education, and it focuses on the effective teaching process through “modelling” and recognising the different ways we learn, depending on whether we are more visually inclined – “I can see what you mean” – or auditory – “That rings a bell” – or kinaesthetic – “That feels right to me.” These defining sub-groups allow teachers and trainers to use the language that each student’s brain is most able to effectively process. Concepts are grasped quickly and learning occurs without the pain of incomprehension. Recognising that each individual has a preferred representational system (PRS), was a key to designing effective “sub modality” tools, like visual, sound and textual imagery.

The techniques which NLP practitioners employ bring awareness to naturally occurring processes, and enable us to enact change in our behaviour at will. As the great teacher Osho would always say, “awareness is enough” – once you become conscious of something then transformation can happen spontaneously. Ask yourself the question who am I? Keep asking and with each round of answers you will discover more and more parts of yourself. Some seemingly buried in your unconscious and quite a few in apparent conflict with each other. Recognition and understanding of these disparate parts and their desires can allow us to move forward and to let go of attachments to unhelpful behaviours. These processes can release a tremendous amount of previously pent up energy and many people who have done the trainings have reported such results. NLP can also help you gain access to the many resources in the unconscious mind – that great storehouse of learning, memory, behaviour and emotion.

One of the fundamentally correct things about NLP is that it was formed out of the observation of what works – Bandler and Grinder analysed the language and behaviour utilised by three excellent psychotherapists in their consultations with clients that affected positive healing outcomes. It is solution based rather than symptomatic. This is, I think, one of the main reasons it has gone on to become the most influential transformative process on the planet. To understand how our brains work and the important role that language plays in how we process information and perceive reality is heroic stuff indeed. Bandler and Grinder, and all those NLP innovators who have come after, have created a system that allows humanity to develop, change, grow and evolve. Christopher Partridge, author of New Religions, states that “NLP may be best thought of as a system of psychology concerned with the self development of the human being” and “It is concerned with the function of belief rather than its nature. It is not concerned whether a belief is true or not, but whether it is empowering or disempowering.”

In Australia we have a number of innovative and excellent NLP Master Practitioners, who have taught, trained and created – transforming lives along the way. There are also NLP schools where you can become a teacher/trainer in a variety of NLP associated modalities including hypnosis, time line therapyTM and NLP life coaching. (Many thanks to Sue Sharp of Australian College of NLP for editorial contribution to the above article.)

Break out Box:

Creative Future Dynamics

Creative Future Dynamics has been described as the training company with heart. Our vision is to provide groups and individuals with the tools to effect lasting change in life, create the future as they want it and take their life to the next level. The powerful combination of NeuroLinguistic Programming, Time Line TherapyTM, Hypnosis, Hawaiian Huna and performance creates memorable and life changing experiences for all who are serious about achieving their desired outcomes and dreams. This is the promise of Creative Future Dynamics. Martha Follent, the Director of Creative Future Dynamics, is a Trainer of NLP, Time Line TherapyTM and Hypnosis and has a varied and extensive background in business, public and private health systems, coaching, training and the performing arts. From this base, the seminars run by Creative Future Dynamics take on new dimensions for personal growth and development. Courses include weekend seminars, certification training programmes for Practitioner and Master Practitioner of NLP, Time Line TherapyTM, and Hypnosis, Hawaiian Huna initiate training, coaching for excellence, performance enhancement, counselling and customised corporate training and coaching. All areas of life can be worked with including career, relationships, health and fitness, personal development. Our clients include business people seeking to enhance business performance and relationships with clients, customers and colleagues, corporate and public groups and individuals wishing to achieve outcomes such as greater career clarity and opportunities, better relationships, greater health and fitness, personal growth and development, more money.  Anyone who takes advantage of our certification programmes is, following certification, eligible for membership (at the appropriate level) with the Australian and the American Boards of NLP, the American Board of Hypnosis, the Australian Society of Clinical Hypnosis and The Time Line TherapyTM Association. Find out more at: www.creativefuturedynamics.com

Break out box:

Australian School of NLP

Our Practitioner, Master Practitioner and Trainers Training courses are internationally recognised and meet the standards of the American Board of Neuro Linguistic Programming, American Board of Hypnotherapy and the Time Line Therapy Association. We have high standards on our courses and feel it is important to be accredited by one of the most, significant boards in the world.

Our courses are supported with pre-study kits allowing you to listen to CD’s and digest information at your own speed prior to the course. We have high standards and we want you to be the best practitioner you can be. Completing pre-study means that we spend most of the course practising and honing your skills in a supported and professional learning environment. We teach Time Line Therapy® and Hypnosis together with NLP at Practitioner and Master Practitioner courses. What’s the benefit? Time Line Therapy® is a highly effective way to rapidly let go of limitations and negative emotions that are preventing you from performing optimally and achieving your desired outcomes. Hypnosis is excellent in creating and supporting new habits, beliefs and behaviours that enabling us to put our desired changes into action in the real world. The three modules (NLP, Time Line TherapyTM and Hypnosis) work most effectively as a combined package although each individually provides a powerful toolset for your mind. Find out more at www.asnlp.com.au

©Eco Living Magazine

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Midas Word

water drop image in article in eco living health aware magazine.

Eco Living Magazine presents:

Heading: A Calling To Heal

Theta Healing Understanding Miracles.

Sudha Hamilton speaks with Mark Anthony Australia’s leading Theta Healing Instructor.

You may have become aware of a new type of healing name with a Greek linguistic origin – Theta. What does the word Theta mean? It is the eighth letter of the Greek alphabet and more recently has been adapted by western neuroscience to name one of the deep brain wave states or rhythms. Theta brain waves are known to be associated with aspects of deep sleep, learning and spatial navigation. It is thought that when the brain is in its Theta rhythm, it is accessing deeply stored information involving the hippocampus (home of our instinctive emotional beliefs), and conveying these to the cerebral cortex (our rational operating thoughts).

Research into these brain wave states has observed that we move into Theta rhythms quite often, at various times throughout the day and in particular when meditating or in a moment of focussed reverie.  I spoke with Mark Anthony, Australia’s leading Theta Healing instructor; about its origins and what it has done for him personally and how it has transformed his life.

Sudha- Mark I understand that Theta Healing’s founder Vianna Stibal, is an intuitive naturopath and massage therapist who is based in the United States?

Mark – Yes, Vianna discovered Theta Healing through healing her own cancer. She realised that the states she invoked during her intuitive readings were Theta brain wave rhythms and that these could be utilised to facilitate healing in others. Since that initial breakthrough of awareness, she has healed and trained thousands of people worldwide and Theta Healing has spread like wildfire across the globe.

Sudha- So what actually happens? How and why do the processes involved in Theta Healing work?

Mark -The original process, which Vianna Stibal called the Orian technique, was based on her early intuitive reading work and involved a visualised technique, which included a body scan, and sending her awareness out through the crown chakra, (top of the head) and communicating with God or the creator consciousness. Once in communion with the higher consciousness, she would seek answers for the condition to be healed, and/or request that the person be healed. Vianna healed her own bone cancer and then found herself healing many people from all over the world.

Sudha- I understand that she sought a scientific basis for the healing process, and with the help of a physicist, conducted some electroencephalographic tests, which determined that she was correct and that the brain waves detected were in the 4-8 Hz range (indicating the Theta rhythm).

Mark- Yes through her earlier contact with the study of hypnosis, Vianna was aware that our brains operate on a Theta rhythm when we are in a hypnotic state, and she thought that this was most likely what was happening when she was reading. It was found through those tests that both healer and patient were in the Theta brain wave state during the process. Her work then moved to another level entirely, through the challenge of a client who did not completely respond to the healing process. In this instance, Vianna’s communion with the God consciousness led her to the understanding that our DNA chromosome makeup was not fixed, but actually responded to Theta Healing – and this was the beginning of her work now known as DNA Activation. In practice, this involves the introduction of new supportive belief system that are instantly reproduced in our cellular reality This work has dramatically expanded the healing reach of Theta Healing, as thousands of people have been trained in this approach with incredible results – facilitating the healing, and saving the lives of people all over the world.

Sudha – The science around Theta brain wave rhythms shows them to be one of several characteristic electroencephalogram wave forms associated with various states of sleep and wakefulness. When seen in this form, they are between 4 and 8 Hz, and involve many neurons firing synchronously – in the hippocampus and through the cortex. Theta activity can be observed in adults during some sleep states, and in states of quiet focus, for example meditation. These rhythms are also involved with spatial navigation and some forms of memory and learning, especially in the temporal lobes. Theta-frequency activity is also manifested during some short term memory tasks.

Sudha – Mark I wonder if you would share with us a little of your own remarkable story?

Mark- I found myself at age 32 facing a life threatening disease and despite the best intentions of Australia’s world class medical system was not getting any better. It began with me feeling generally run down over a period of time and a visit to my holistic chiropractor. Unfortunately I came away with several fractured ribs and a cracked vertebra, which were not discovered until, after experiencing excruciating pain, I was sent for a bone scan by my local doctor. Following this I was wrongly diagnosed as suffering from low bone density, despite my years in the construction industry and playing heavy contact sport.

Sudha –  It sounds like the beginning of a nightmare journey.

Mark – Yes it was, as this error was followed by another when I was misdiagnosed as having Tuberculosis (TB) and immediately hospitalised. However, all my tests for TB came back negative, many blood tests followed before the first of several fine needle biopsies under CT guidance were conducted. This involves an 18cm needle being repeatedly inserted into the spine in search of the right sample location. I was by this time under the care of several neurosurgeons, orthopaedic surgeons, cardio-thoracic surgeons and infectious disease doctors. These fine needle biopsies were unsuccessful and so the decision was taken to cut three holes in my side and insert a camera and take a sample of the infection.

Sudha – I imagine you would have been pretty frightened at this point.

Mark- Well, upon awakening I then had two tubes draining blood from me, as they had collapsed my lung for the procedure, and a third tube as a morphine drip – and a 25cm scar as a keepsake for my troubles. The good news was that I did not have cancer but the bad news was that they did not take a large enough sample to test for anything else. Repeating the operation was next on the agenda but “luckily” I had developed a fever, and medical protocol insisted that this be treated with antibiotics before surgery. After receiving a high dosage antibiotic for 6 weeks I was still found to have a blood infection level of 125 (normal rates are 0 – 15). Another fine needle biopsy followed before another course of high dosage antibiotics, and finally a correct diagnosis – Vertebral Osteomyelitis. This infection in the partially collapsed T6 and T7 vertebrae was potentially fatal and incapacitated me to the extent that I could not pick up a shopping bag, let alone my two year old daughter.

Sudha – I understand that it was at this time that you were given a copy of Vianna Stibal’s book “Go Up and Work With God.”

Mark- My naturopath recommended it and I seized upon it, sensing that the answers and the healing I had so desperately been seeking were right here. You know when you read something and you just know this is it! I did a bit of further research on the internet and registered for the next workshop. I did the Advanced Theta Healing seminar over that weekend and found that the pain in my back was completely gone.

Sudha – That must have been amazing after such a terrifying time. What happened to heal you?

Mark- During the Theta Healing processes new affirmative life beliefs were conveyed to me, whilst in the Theta state, which enabled me to replace the failing negative beliefs that were literally killing me. My Father passed away from a sudden heart attack when I was 16 and I was told to be strong for my mother. I subconsciously took this on as a reason not to be able to grieve, and I felt a great deal of pressure to get everything right from then on. Subconsciously, I carried feelings of resentment toward my father for leaving me and not teaching me all I had to learn from him. This created in my mind a lack of support, which was heightened, due to the fact that all my friend’s fathers were in the construction industry, and when they left school, they all went into their fathers businesses. I had to do it all on my own. These support issues manifested in my back, and the resentment I carried manifested into the infection. The first Theta Healing consultation I had, we worked on the issues about my father, which immediately eliminated a great deal of the pain I was feeling in my back. I was then able to see the support that I had in my life from my mother, brother, sisters and my wife. In fact I had so much support around me but was unable to see it due to my beliefs.

Sudha – Mark thank you so much for sharing your incredible life changing journey.

Mark – My pleasure.

Mark Anthony has since gone on to train directly with Vianna Stibal and to devote his life’s work to the facilitating and training of others in Theta Healing. He feels that the importance of this work lies in the empowering effect that it has on people to heal themselves, and that it is this paradigm shift which can transform humanity. Mark teaches all of Vianna’s courses around Australia including the Basic and Advanced Theta Healing and Intuitive Anatomy courses. www.thetahealing.net.au

©Eco Living Magazine.

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Midas Word

Eco Living magazine presents:

Tantric Sex or Tantra?

By Diane and Kerry Riley

Tantra is a spiritual science from ancient India and in its basic essence is very similar to Taoism from China. Both involve balancing the male and female energies to create harmony and both have an ultimate goal of spiritual unity with the universe or the source or God.

The Tantric interplay of the male and female energies was represented in Hindu mythology with Shakti and Shiva, and represented in Taoism with yin and yang. Both Tantra and Taoism aimed to create union of body, mind and spirit. And in both, sexuality was seen and practiced in a spiritual context.

Tantra emphasises that we deserve all the love and sexual pleasure we can possibly receive; that sexual loving is a way to reach the mysteries of the heart, the soul; the God and Goddess within each person. It also teaches that sex is a way of bonding with a lover physically, emotionally and spiritually to create feelings of ecstatic pleasure, deep intimacy and expanded consciousness. It’s important to recognise that any judgments we have about sex reflect our inhibitions and demonstrate that we are not entirely free and accepting of our own sexuality.

Well, what’s the difference between Tantra and just having sex? One of the key differences is where the mind is. It’s the same in life. One’s experience of life depends on where the mind is. We are all living in the same world, but our experiences are determined by our perception.

And so in lovemaking it’s not what we are doing that affects us; it’s the attitude with which we are doing it that makes the real difference to our experience. If we can adopt the attitude that our lovemaking is spiritual, then our lovemaking will indeed become a spiritual experience. When I’m asked this question of the difference between tantric sex and just having sex, I use the analogy: normal sex is like running along the beach, it’s a good exercise and shouldn’t be stopped however tantric sex is more like tai chi or yoga or chi gong; it’s a different level of exercise – it harmonises body, mind and soul, as does tantric sex.

Tantra was traditionally only practised in a spiritual sense, but this doesn’t mean you have to be ‘holier than holy’ or understand Hindu mythology to incorporate the practices into your love life. Modern teachings of tantra are accessible for anyone who has an interest in adding to, and expanding the ways they make love.

 

Benefits and practices you can try:

For Men

There are excellent techniques in Tantric Sex to increase a man’s ability to last longer using ejaculation control skills and practices to help with erection dysfunction and feeling of virility. Viagra can help with performance but not with loving desire for his partner, (unless that desire is only to perform). Women want to feel a man’s love and connection not just his performance trying to get her to climax. Tantra teaches a man intimacy skills to turn sex into making love. For an experiment ask your man ‘How much love are you feeling while making love? ‘

Often men are more conscious about getting a result … good sex and orgasm… than how much love they are feeling in their heart. It may be that a Tantra lesson would be good to connect sex and heart feelings for him. Of course if he can’t last long, then he has no time to feel his love anyway because he is to busy concentrating on controlling himself – this is not making love.

A practice to help him with control is strengthening the pubocoxigel muscle one way to locate this muscle is to try and stop the flow during urination by contracting the pelvic floor. If you can do that then you have found the muscle. It is taught in many texts that if a man contracts this muscle before ejaculation it will stop it.

However if it is done incorrectly it doesn’t work. For example, a common error is trying to contract this muscle just before ejaculation. If you do it at 90%, and you haven’t practiced enough it won’t work and may even cause you to come. It’s best to do it in stages at 20%, at 30%, at 50%, at 75% and then 90%. I’m not suggesting non ejaculation practices that are often given in Taoist texts, because if these are not done properly it can lead to prostate problems. So for these practices to be successful and healthy full education / training is necessary.

Tantric techniques can assist in prolonging and improving the experience of love-making – for example breathing slower and deeper and concentrating more on the out- stroke than the in- stroke can help. It’s not the woman’s responsibility; it’s up to him to master ejaculation control. It’s men’s business. Men can have up to four sessions with a Tantra goddess skilled in teaching these practices to guide conscious men to be better lovers. Also these skills can be taught in a couple’s session.

 

Tantra for women

 

‘Traditional texts on Tantra and Taoism were written by men – and many of the practices strike me as having a male orientation about them, emphasizing techniques for the man to use for his spiritual enlightenment. Although the female was honored, the practices for her to do are not as easy to find. For example, so many of the contemporary books on tantra and Taoist sexology emphasize the forcing of the sexual energy, or Kundalini, up the spine with strong breathing and visualization to move it out of the sex center and into the higher center, known as the spiritual center, often called the crown chakra at the top of the head. This is most often done in a sitting crossed-legged position by oneself or with a partner sitting astride in a position called Yab/Yum.

This practice of forcefully directing the Kundalini up the spine can be good for men to learn because the energy in the genitals generally builds up quickly for them and, as a result, they often ejaculate too soon before their partner’s sexual energy has time to build. So moving sexual energy into the brain for expanded consciousness can be of practical benefit for men to help them control ejaculation. However, for some women, this practice may not be suitable, particularly if you are not consistently orgasmic. The reason for this is that if you pull energy out of your pelvis and your yoni, then it is less likely you will orgasm, and that’s not what most women want! It’s only recently that women have strengthened their connection to their orgasm, so why do the opposite?

One suggestion for women is that once you are feeling sexually excited, concentrate on swirling your pelvis, as in belly dancing movement imagining the energy rising naturally like steam from a simmering pot, radiating throughout the body – filling you with delightful pulses of sensual/sexual energy. There is no need to force anything, when it can flow. According to Dr Stephen Chang “the Tao of Sexology’ forcing can have detrimental effects ‘. Another suggestion is to actually take a belly dancing class. This really helps a free and easy movement of your hips and promotes a good and strong connection between the mind and body, especially the pelvic area, the sex area. This can greatly enhance the pleasure you feel during sex.

A practice you can do yourself at home is the ‘Crescent moon’. Stand with your legs slightly apart and your knees bent a little. Trace the shape of the other rim of the crescent moon with the movement of your hips. After a while, if that comes easily to you, experiment with figure eights and a variety of movements. Close your eyes and continue and enjoy the flow of this very feminine movement. Try shutting your eyes for a few moments so that you can sense deep into your hips and pelvic bowl.

Tips from a man- what he wants: In my consultations with men, many express their disappointment that their partner doesn’t move their hips enough. Men like it when their partner moves. Another thing men love is when their partner is making pleasurable sounds.  These are keys of tantra: sounds and hip movement. Another key is to be aware of the PC muscle and contract it during lovemaking to create pleasurable sensation for him and you. The most important thing conscious men want is for their woman to be really enjoying the lovemaking – releasing inhibitions and freeing the love goddess within. Experiment with some of these elements to create and sustain a passionate relationship. There was an episode on ‘Sex in the City’ where a group of women friends got a Tantra Goddess, a  female coach, to show them some magic strokes to use on their partner and how to create more sweet orgasms for themselves.

Tantra for couples: Tantra can bond relationships together, break habitual patterns, put new spark into relationships, balance desire levels and expand the way you make love on all levels. More and more couples are open to exploring tantra and not just accepting that ‘this is the way it is’ after a few years together. A good place to start as a couples is to hold hands and shut your eyes for a few minutes, and think about some of the things you enjoy about your partner, because we often spend a lot of energy inwardly complaining about the things that annoy us or we want to change about the other. So for five minutes, let go of that, open your eyes and take turns telling each other ten things you appreciate about them. When one partner shares something the other should simply say ‘thank you’ with no further comment. Just accept and enjoy. At the end have a hug and don’t discuss it further. Do something together like a walk or a simple act of having a cup of tea.

Sounds too simple… but try it and see the effect for yourself. Theory is knowing it, practice is living it!*

For more information and education on Tantra and any of the above go to www.australianschooloftantra.com.au

*excerpt from ‘Sexual secrets and Practices for women, unleashing the sex goddess within’ by Diane Riley (to be released later this year).

**for full instructions see ‘Sexual Secrets for men, what every woman would want the man to know’ by Diane & Kerry Riley.

Bio: Kerry and Diane Riley are Australia’s leading Tantra teacher’s and founders of the ‘Australian School of Tantra’. They have shared their deep understanding of sacred sexuality, heartfelt connection and committed relationship with thousands of men and women through their courses, books & DVD’s.

©Eco Living Magazine

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Midas Word

Eco Living Magazine presents:

The Underlying Impacts of School Yard Bullying

By Anne Matheson

Kerry, a client of many years, but this time she came to see me, not for herself – but for Florence her 6 year old daughter.  Flo had experienced school yard bullying and was very traumatised by the whole experience.  Neither Kerry, her husband, nor their other daughter (who was at the same school) had any idea that the bullying had been going on for months.  The first hints were when Flo started to say she was sick in the stomach or the head and did not want to go to school.  The whole story came out when Flo ran crying to her sister in the playground.

Even though the school had a ‘bullying policy’, the culture of the classroom did not create an environment where Flo felt comfortable enough to say something to her teacher or her parents.  Flo’s trauma was significant enough for her parents to keep her out of school for the rest of the term. She would start at a different school the following term.  The new school understood the situation and Flo was going into a small class with an experienced teacher, who would be able to monitor Flo’s emotional behaviour.

To help her deal with the problem her parents had encouraged her to talk about how she felt and to get angry with what had happened.  She would freely express that she was miserable, and people didn’t like her – and that she felt her life was bad and would never get better.  No improvement was noted from the release and she felt no hope for the future. Her previous energetic, enthusiastic character had been replaced by a sad and pessimistic child at a critical point in her development – and one that could shape her approach to life.

In infancy, we share our mother’s energy field, with the terrible two’s marking the beginning of the individuation process. From age 2 until around age 8 children are connected to the ‘primary mothering energy’. (From then until around puberty they are connected to the ‘primary fathering energy’). During their connection to the primary mothering energy, children learn about their own self-worth, developing their self-esteem later with their primary fathering energy.  Self-worth and self-esteem are absolutely fundamental to our emotional and psychological health as adults.

During our first years of interaction within the broader community, we start to shape many of the beliefs that we have developed and inherited from our family.  Our experience at this stage will either reinforce or alter the basic psychological mechanisms that we have already developed for moving through the world.  These determine our beliefs. Do we see the world as scary? How will we react to criticism? How do we create forms of self protection? How do we react to power and authority? What is our relationship with trust? Do we believe we can be happy?

As life is experienced within the cocoon of developing self-worth, our experiences are measured against, and impact on, the development of self-worth.  It is as if we continually ask ourselves ‘am I worthy enough or not at this moment?’

It is also in these years that self-pity emerges as a mechanism for self-protection.  Self-pity is the most common of defence mechanisms and generally is the cry of ‘poor me’ and leads to a whole range of dysfunctional patterns in life.  This insidious defence mechanism can also involve the self absorption of feeling unworthy – (when it’s all about YOU being good enough or not). This can further descend into becoming a Victim or a Martyr in life or being a Blamer or a Struggler with life.

In Flo, these defence mechanisms were beginning to form. Saying that she was ‘sick in the head or stomach’ as a way of not going to school, shows that she has developed effective means of protecting herself from attack. Being sick is now positioned in her sub-conscious as a way of protecting herself from the unpleasantness or upsets of life.

Her level of self-worth is being negatively impacted, and her beliefs about the world are being shaped and re-shaped.  The risk is that she will have implanted beliefs that she is’ not good enough’ and ‘not worthy of having friends’, that ‘school is not enjoyable and fun’, that the ‘future is not something you can look forward to’, that ‘you cannot change things in your life for the better’.  The potential is there for Flo to develop a pessimistic, hopeless and powerless view of life.

So what to do. Firstly, her parents responded well, by taking decisive action and taking her seriously, she felt comfortable that they were there to defend and protect her.  Flo has had the experience that she has power in her life; that when she spoke up she was believed, and the situation changed, and she was no longer being threatened.  Having Flo talk about the issue is critical to her learning to express her feelings.  However, she seemed to have become fixated on the negative and so was not releasing the emotion.  It was also important not to create drama, so that she doesn’t ‘learn’ that melodrama is the best way of getting attention.

I suggested that Kerry start Flo on a program of vibrational essences – one for releasing the anger she still harboured and another for the pessimism and sadness; one to be taken in the morning and the other in the evening.  When she started the new school, it was important to monitor her and see how she was coping, and if necessary to use a third essence for any sense of worry or crisis she might experience.

Kerry reported back after Flo had been at the new school for 2 weeks.  The essences had worked well and she had stopped fixating on the negative experience.  Apart from a little nervousness on the first day, and a lack of enthusiasm in the first week, she had settled in well – and said that she loved her new school and her new teacher.  Kerry and her family were overjoyed that Flo had her joy and optimism back, and was full of enthusiasm and life again.

©Eco Living Magazine.

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Midas Word

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